HammerOnCancer

Radiation, Part 3 of my treatment has arrived - April 30, 2019.  Can't believe I have already had 7 months of treatment, all healed up from surgery, and now ready to Hammer On with the next thing up.  I feel pretty good, sure I have the pain of two 10" plus scares across my chest and I've been attending physical therapy to regain motion of my left arm, but my mind is focused.     I've met with my Radiation Oncologist and another round of people added to my cancer team.  First up is "Simulation" in which they get me into the position I will be in with arms over my head, form an air cast around my body and make a series of 3D scans and CT like slices through my body to be able to plan the radiation.   I'm also introduced to the "ABC" technique in which I take a deep breath, this allows my diaphragm to pull down my heart away from the chest wall and while I hold my breath for 30 seconds, the radiation beams hit my chest wall.  O'h I also got t...

    I've accomplished Chemotherapy, 133 Days / 5 Months - DONE, but not done, I look forward to Part 2 - Surgery.  The surgery was scheduled for March 28, 2019 right at 5 weeks post chemo.  Mentally I thought Surgery was the easiest because it was one day, then maybe some PT, but not something were I had to endure 5 months of chemo pain.  In the weeks leading up to Surgery, things were pretty much chill for doctors visits;  a sleep study, labs and a few follow up appointments, and I had returned to work about 4 hours a day, but the days "in between" were taking a toll emotionally.     I actually missed going to the hospital on a weekly basis as I did for chemo - a part of me had gotten into a habit more or like, or perhaps it was the healthcare interaction with people.  I also had been putting together a "if something should happen" booklet, it's called Five Wishes, writing down passwords and thinking how I wanted to be remembered. ...

    Day 133 - Wednesday, February 20, 2019 - Number of days from Infusion 1 to Infusion 20.  Like one of my favorite EDM songs by No Mana called "Over and Over" - that has been the pattern of my life for 133 days, a pattern of repeated tasks every week to put my body through chemotherapy treatment.  I've grown to live with it you might say.  It's the first part of treatment, the first hurdle, 20 side affects long including death.  It all fell into my lap - I walked out of Infusion for the last time, hugged my nurses and I couldn't hold anything back, my eyes flowing with tears.  Tears of celebration that I just accomplished this and tears of this struggle with life and treatment all at the same time.  What kept me going?  All of it and especially People.  Prayers and the shear gratitude of others, the internal will to fight on, to Hammer On.  The other moments, all equally important; 384 miles of driving trips from home, 40 vitals, ...