Skip to main content


All of the Above

    All of the Above - how my cancer grew out of control in a short period of time and how I'm aggressively back in chemo and radiation to regain control.        July 2023, I stated to develop a wheeze in my breathing and then by mid July a cough and on July 18, 2023 I had my routine follow up scans (CT and Bone Scan).   First off, bone scan showed no additional new growth and a stable T4 from previous Feb 2021 cancer, so that was a win.  CT unfortunately showed a new large tumor in right lung with several new tumors growing in between lung sacks.  Left - March 2023 of right lung  Right - July 2023 of right lung     The image on the right is pretty telling as the  new large tumor was at the base of my lung surrounding the wind pipe which was likely causing my symptoms.  There was also a medium plural effusion at the base of my lung.  These together were starting to press the air space of my lung.  My oncologist and I decided to stop my current cancer oral meds of Verzino and begin
Recent posts


     ONJ  - What is ONJ -  Osteonecrosis of the jaw is a condition where  the jawbone is exposed and not covered by gums..... and that is what I had.  Um ok, what?        So this all started back in the beginning of April of 2022 when I ate some starburst candy and a few days later, started feeling pain in my lower left jaw area.  At first, I went to my family dentist, the normal found some cavities in the area and filled them.  However, the pain still was there, in the same area, but below my left jaw, a dull pain.  So I went again for a checkup and dentist said well you might need a root canal (in which they didn't do... but dentists in the 90s used to.... whatever).  That lead me to another dentist who did root canals and they took an pano image of my jaw, in which I commented, "I am a Stage 4 Cancer patient, how does that work with what your are doing" and I got a deer in the headlights look from the Dentist, my confidence fell at this point.  Another $600 and was tol

Radiation Mask Nightlight

    So what do you do when you have a radiation mask from a leftover treatment? - Make a "Radiation Mask Nightlight" of course!  Ok should I say that again, how did I end up with this idea.  Well one of my affects from my cancer meds is that I cannot share my body sweat so I cannot sleep in the same bed as my wife and so I have relocated to another part of the house and well it is dark.  I was keeping the light on in the bathroom, and I thought I needed a night light.      I took a Google Nightlight which can be voice controlled and paired it with my Alexia device and simply put the nightlight beneath the mask.  The nightlight has lots of different color settings and can be programed to come on a certain times, etc.  As the light shines underneath the mask lights up and you can easily see the contours of my face, my chest and well it makes one awesome night light. Radiation Nightlight Red Light for Caps and Nats games, and well it looks cool!

Healed Podcast

American Cancer Society HEALED Community Gathering Podcast Air Date: December 22, 2021 Moderator: Pat Croce, ACS Healed Guests: Stan Golub, CEO of Reel Recovery                 Matt Parker, October 2021 percipient in Reel Recovery Subject: Reel Recovery's Mission to  help men in the cancer recovery process by introducing them to the healing powers of the sport of fly-fishing, while providing a safe, supportive environment to explore their personal experiences of cancer with others who share their stories You Tube Link

Reel Recovery Cancer Retreat

   My first Cancer Retreat - Reel Recovery , kicked off this past October 2021 at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains along the Rose River in VA.  I joined other Men living with cancer to learn the healing powers of fly fishing along with honest discussions from the cancer struggles, learning and gains.  In fact, Reel Recovery was founded in 2003 from a group of fishing buddies in which one of them passed away from cancer, he scribbled on the dusty truck one day " Be Well, Fish On ."  Obviously this connected with me since my motto is HammerOn, that you need to keeping going, that life goes on.    The drive down was awesome, with each mile driven the bustling of the city grew smaller, the roads curved around bends full of trees, the leaves turned yellow and the air was crisp, a perfect fall day.  As I checked into the lodge, I was struck by one of those Dad moments again (I spoke about this in my Radiation 33 blog post.)  He was sitting right in front of me, talking wit

Lifetime Radiation 33

   How did I get here - 33 Lifetime Radiations to treat my Cancer?  Looking backwards, my 30th Radiation was on June 11, 2019 and then my 31st Radiation was on March 15, 2021 or 643 days in between.   I began three days of intense CyberKnife Radiation at John's Hopkins Baltimore or known to me as the "Mothership" to treat the tumor on my spine that I wrote about in my "3 Sentences" blog post.   What exactly is CyberKnife Radiation?  Good question let's compare treatments - my 30 Radiations were at John's Hopkins Sibley Memorial Hospital which involved walking in a concrete box, turning on some tunes, holding my breath for 20 seconds, lying still between breaths all lasting about 20 minutes each treatment.  CyberKnife, well, it's big fucking time, still walked into a concrete box, still listened to tunes, but I'm bolted to the table with my custom mask and have to hold still for 90 minutes and treated with a very high dose radiation.  I heard that

3 Sentences

            Sunday, February 07. 2021 - Super Bowl Sunday, I went to the ER for a pain in my right lower abdomen under my rib cage, thinking I might have a pulmonary embolism.  So to check that out, I underwent a CT (scan #1) of my chest and top abdomen and ultrasound (scan #2) to rule out PE or gallbladder.  After a couple of hours, I got the results: no PE and nothing wrong with the gallbladder.  What I got instead was three sentences on a discharge document:     ER Report 02-07-21  Impression "3 Sentences"   Osseous metastatic disease with new T5 vertebral body lesion demonstrating epidural tumor extension. New lung nodules consistent with metastatic disease. Small right pleural effusion. Nodularity along the major fissure.  Findings concerning for malignant effusion , What followed was a TIDAL WAVE of EMOTION - WHAT? - YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.  After several choice cuss words and a few hours of not being able to comprehend these 3 sentences, I sat down and wrote an ema